A bit back, I wrote a piece on how to find the right doctor.  Once you find the right doctor, just like with any relationship, at some point, conflict may happen.  Hopefully this piece will give you a glimpse at why conflict arises but better yet give you understanding on how to initiate conflict resolution with your doctor.

Conflict happens for 1 reason.

The sole reason is that expectations aren’t being met.  Mis-expectations can be broken down into 2 categories.  One, there is perceived threat.  Two, there is perceived negligence.

Or for you analytical minds.  Here’s a formula.  C=E÷2.  C (conflict).  E (expectations). 2 (perceived threat or perceived attack).

Conflict Resolution with Your Doctor

I get the stories all the time from new patients coming in dissatisfied with their previous doctor.

“He wouldn’t listen”…perceived negligence.  “She said if don’t take this drug, I will die,”…perceived threat.  “The staff never returns my phone call,”…perceived negligence.  “The practice will kick me out if I don’t vaccinate my kids,”…perceived threat.  I’m sure you have your own story.

I also get the stories from fellow practitioners.

“He never makes his visits”…perceived negligence.  “She’s hell-bent on ONLY using her insurance and if we don’t accept it, she is walking out”…perceived threat.  “The staff never gets their calls returned,”…perceived negligence.  “He has to check first with his regular doctor,”…perceived threat.

As a patient, you want to know 3 basic things from your doctor in no particular order.  One, can the doctor help me?  Two, how long is it going to take?  Three, how much money is it going to cost?

As a doctor, you want to know 3 basic things from your patient in no particular order.  One, will the patient follow recommendations?  Two, is the patient able to pay?  Three, does the patient have the time?

Really the doctor and patient want to know the exact same things.  The problem is that expectations are vastly different.  It’s ok not to agree on things.  I have plenty of patients that don’t agree 100% with me on certain issues.  But this is also why I have the coolest patient base; they aren’t afraid to disagree but they also aren’t afraid of discussing it and looking at an issue from my side.  The same goes for them from me.  We have an unspoken ‘judgement free zone’ relationship.

If you’re a patient looking for a new doctor, I’d love to see if we would make a good team.  Book a free 15 minute phone consultation.  All expectations are met ahead of time.  You know how long it’s going to take.  You know how much it’s going to cost.  Just like me, you don’t know if I can help or not yet.  We start on an even playing field.

If you’re a fellow practitioner passionate about helping your community create More Health, Less HealthCare, let’s chat.  I often get inquires from people in other states looking for a doctor in their area that can help them in a drug free manner.  Nothing formal, just reach out.


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